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A group of chess enthusiasts were kicked out of a hotel reception for discussing their winning games. The manager can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.  )

Mods......are you guys awake?

Seriously MJim, it's Mothers Day.......got any M.I.L. jokes.......  O:-)

R

Sorry, I've been bored to tears watching Star Wars films with my boys for the Nth time whilst Mummy has some well deserved chill out time ...

No likie no lightie......the light just went out here!

Don

Where's the rotting veg smiley when you need it?!

:target: these will do  )

[quote="X5Sport"]
Mods......are you guys awake?

Seriously MJim, it's Mothers Day.......got any M.I.L. jokes.......  O:-)

R
[/quote]

Some Les Dawson classics

My mother-in-law
My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind.
I’m often accused of saying some pretty rotten things about my mother-in-law. But quite honestly, she’s only got one major fault — it’s called breathing.

Comedian Les Dawson died almost 20 years ago - but his jokes are still as funny as ever
The mosquitoes have to draw straws to see who’s going to bite her.
She’s got more chins than a Chinese phonebook. But she’s got the things most men desire . . . muscles and a moustache.
THE wife’s mother said: ‘When you’re dead, I’ll dance on your grave.’ I said: ‘Good. I’m being buried at sea.’
Last August, she stood on the cliffs at Southend in a bikini and all you could see was illegal immigrants diving in screaming and swimming for home.
"My mother-in-law has come round to our house at Christmas seven years running. This year we're having a change. We're going to let her in."
Les Dawson




"I haven't spoken to my mother-in-law for eighteen months. I don't like to interrupt her."
Ken Dodd

My FIL was driving down the road and was pulled over by a policeman.  Walking up to my FIL's car, the policeman said, "Your wife fell out of the car five miles back."  My FIL replied, "Thank God for that, I thought I'd gone deaf!"


A real cracker ,
A woman stopped by unannounced at her recently married son's house.  She rang the doorbell and walked in.  She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked.  Soft music was playing; and the aroma of perfume filled the room.  "What are you doing?" she asked.  "I'm waiting for my husband to come home from work," the daughter-in-law answered.  "But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.  "This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.  "Love dress?  But you're naked!"  " My husband loves me to wear this dress," she explained.  "It excites him to no end.  Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end.  He can't get enough of me."  The mother-in-law left.  When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and laid on the couch waiting for her husband to arrive.  Finally, her husband came home.  He walked in and saw her laying there so provocatively.  "What are you doing?" he asked.  "This is my love dress," she whispered, sensually.  "Needs ironing," he said.

Other than that 'real cracker', brilliant!  )

Some normality....yay.

[quote="Raj"]
Some normality....yay.
[/quote]

Indeed, good job amacman  sounds like the MIL from youe joke could do with the iRon  )