XSeries-forum

Dear Inhabitants of Crazy Town,

I'm a week (almost) into X5 ownership (X5 number 2 but a 7 year gap between them!), and a few ideas are boiling away in the cauldron. But, some assistance from you folks is needed, as well as a couple of eyes of newt and leg of toad . . . . . .

Thoughts:-

1. My OBC tells me my car is at SW 4-1/91 is this good, bad or Kalahari Beige? My map S/W is 2006/1 can it be updated? Supplying dealer says updates 'no longer possible car to old', RiDDO thinks they were leading me up the garden path for a session with Jimmy, but were they? I don't want to hear about illegal links, and naughty ISO's hidden under fairies, halfway down next doors garden! I do want to hear about 'legal' updates, that I can hand over my hard earned for. Grown up Moderators are you listening? Are you?

2. All you young 'uns seem quite keen on updating your bulbs with LEAD technology, how feasible is this? And is there a grown up amongst you who will hold my hand through the trials & tribulations of LEAD conversion, to help me get there? I'm a mature 44 year old, as you can tell! (with pipe, beard, and leather elbow pads) and don't think I can do this on my own.........LEAD is something that is usually stolen of the church roof isn't it? I have got Lord Xenon on my side, although at times he seems a little on the dark side . . . . .

3. Cream velour mats ditched! Black rubber is the way forward, I don't need any grown ups for this modification!!!!

4. Can't pair my iPhone 4 with the Blueteeth Gremlin hidden inside the dashboard (I have hummed the tune, and everything. . . . .), do I need to invest in a cradle/cot/pushchair? I have the secret German code supplied by the Yanks when the car was made, and have attempted pairing, but the OBC just says searching. Searching for what? My iPhone 4, or the chip shop the Germans bombed that my Grandpa was always on about? My iPhone 4, does less then me during working hours, I.e. enough to earn my wages, but no more . . . . . . . . Is there a secret cookie dance, special handshake, or satanic ritual I have to perform? (I'm not averse to nipple exposure to get what i want) to ensure this Blueteeth pairing stuff actually happens (sounds like some weird German swingers club to me!)? Those pesky Germans have written nothing in the manual about any of that! Never trust a German, that's what my Grandpa always said . . . . . . . Hmmm, they did bomb his chip shop!

5. Tuning or Power Upgrades? Another modern wonder that confuses me. I have a 3.0 diesel 2006 X5. I want a tune/map for torque, not power. Something to give a little bit more squirt from 1,500 to 3,000 rpm's (pretend I'm towing a caravan! Honest I'm not!). I will rarely get above 80 mph, but may have need to upset other leather elbow pad clad, pipe smoking types should the need arise? Any help or advice?

6. Is it possible to retrofit the DSP thingy and subwoofer? I have the BMW business speaker system, a faulty CD changer, and a crackly radio! I do have Nav, TV, Blueteeth and Magic Heating. The car is going to BMW for further investigation (faulty CD changer, and crackly radio) as it's approved used, now there a gentle euphemism, approved and used, whatever next! I know you folks are going to say do some aftermarket stuff, but I might not want to. Can the DSP be retrofitted? What do I need? apart from The Samaritans on Speedial!

Can't think of anything else right now, but . . . . . . . If I do, I promise to wake you all up, when it boings into my off beat noggin!!!


RiDDO

No Tissue Holders were harmed in the creation of this post!

[quote="RiDDO"]
Dear Inhabitants of Crazy Town,

I'm a week (almost) into X5 ownership (X5 number 2 but a 7 year gap between them!), and a few ideas are boiling away in the cauldron. But, some assistance from you folks is needed, as well as a couple of eyes of newt and leg of toad . . . . . .

Thoughts:-

1. My OBC tells me my car is at SW 4-1/91 is this good, bad or Kalahari Beige? My map S/W is 2006/1 can it be updated? Supplying dealer says updates 'no longer possible car to old', RiDDO thinks they were leading me up the garden path for a session with Jimmy, but were they? I don't want to hear about illegal links, and naughty ISO's hidden under fairies, halfway down next doors garden! I do want to hear about 'legal' updates, that I can hand over my hard earned for. Grown up Moderators are you listening? Are you?

2. All you young 'uns seem quite keen on updating your bulbs with LEAD technology, how feasible is this? And is there a grown up amongst you who will hold my hand through the trials & tribulations of LEAD conversion, to help me get there? I'm a mature 44 year old, as you can tell! (with pipe, beard, and leather elbow pads) and don't think I can do this on my own.........LEAD is something that is usually stolen of the church roof isn't it? I have got Lord Xenon on my side, although at times he seems a little on the dark side . . . . .

3. Cream velour mats ditched! Black rubber is the way forward, I don't need any grown ups for this modification!!!!

4. Can't pair my iPhone 4 with the Blueteeth Gremlin hidden inside the dashboard (I have hummed the tune, and everything. . . . .), do I need to invest in a cradle/cot/pushchair? I have the secret German code supplied by the Yanks when the car was made, and have attempted pairing, but the OBC just says searching. Searching for what? My iPhone 4, or the chip shop the Germans bombed that my Grandpa was always on about? My iPhone 4, does less then me during working hours, I.e. enough to earn my wages, but no more . . . . . . . . Is there a secret cookie dance, special handshake, or satanic ritual I have to perform? (I'm not averse to nipple exposure to get what i want) to ensure this Blueteeth pairing stuff actually happens (sounds like some weird German swingers club to me!)? Those pesky Germans have written nothing in the manual about any of that! Never trust a German, that's what my Grandpa always said . . . . . . . Hmmm, they did bomb his chip shop!

5. Tuning or Power Upgrades? Another modern wonder that confuses me. I have a 3.0 diesel 2006 X5. I want a tune/map for torque, not power. Something to give a little bit more squirt from 1,500 to 3,000 rpm's (pretend I'm towing a caravan! Honest I'm not!). I will rarely get above 80 mph, but may have need to upset other leather elbow pad clad, pipe smoking types should the need arise? Any help or advice?

6. Is it possible to retrofit the DSP thingy and subwoofer? I have the BMW business speaker system, a faulty CD changer, and a crackly radio! I do have Nav, TV, Blueteeth and Magic Heating. The car is going to BMW for further investigation (faulty CD changer, and crackly radio) as it's approved used, now there a gentle euphemism, approved and used, whatever next! I know you folks are going to say do some aftermarket stuff, but I might not want to. Can the DSP be retrofitted? What do I need? apart from The Samaritans on Speedial!

Can't think of anything else right now, but . . . . . . . If I do, I promise to wake you all up, when it boings into my off beat noggin!!!


RiDDO

No Tissue Holders were harmed in the creation of this post!
[/quote]

Quality post....

Now to attempt to answer.

1. Although expensive I believe you can indeed purchase an updated disc that will offer a few extra features with updated maps. You can also get firmware updates if there are any to be had.

2. I'm nearly 40 and have replaced all interior and exterior standard bulbs with LED's. All very straight forward and will be direct replacements so no extra hassle to be had there and they make a huge visual impact. eBay is your friend for sourcing these tbh. As for the dimmly lit xenons, I totally agree they need some work. I will be looking into either a direct replacement of the 35w OE xenon ballast for an aftermarket 55w one to increase said light output.

3. Sorted.

4. Here is the user guide for pairing your phone. Ensure ignition is off and press and hold the button under the lid for the armrest. Whilst still pressed turn ignition on to position 1 and then de-press button. You should get Bluetooth pairing appear on screen (obviously ensure bluetooth is on, on the phone).Go into bluetooth option on iPhone and should see the car in the list to pair against and enter passkey. Turn ignition off once paired.

5. Remap, Remap, Remap. Power increase and Torque go hand in hand with a remap. Best bang for buck.

6. It is possible to add DSP BUT it will cost you a fortune and you need to source the OE DSP wiring loom (as I don't think it's already wired in), so I would suggest the aftermarket route. Personally better and less expensive.

HTH,

Raj.

Raj,

I don't know who's dafter. Me for thinking about the odd little improvement, or you for already having them done! Thank you for the reply.

Neither as I believe everything can be improved in some way and obviously so do you...lol

Sorry, but the LEAD bit cracked me up  ) Have this image of part of a church roof being installed.

There are two map releases per year by BMW, October and May. The current one should be 2013-1 and should just have been released. It used to be £99 for the upgrade when you handed your old one in, but I think they stopped that and it is more in the £200 region now for an updated map. For a 2006 car, the firmware should be up to date to the latest version anyway, but a legal copy of the CD is £12.50 from the dealer if not.

Quality post though 

[quote="pvr"]
Sorry, but the LEAD bit cracked me up  ) Have this image of part of a church roof being installed.
[/quote]

Lol. I didn't want to correct him as I didn't want to offend the elderly.... :-[ )

Sadly chaps, this boy knows the difference between a light emitting diode, and the stuff that is always getting pinched off the church roof. Everything starts going awry, when you start thinking about dog lead, and the lead on a church roof! Will look in my Klingon dictionary and see if they have similar vocabulary conundrums?

However, my thanks for the replies and guidance! Pun intended.

My tuppence worth (as a grumpy 46 year old) -
1. Don't bother with dodgy DVD. If you look on ebay, the prices for OEM secondhand ones tend to work like car prices depending on year. I picked up a 2009 one for £25. 2012 much more expensive.
2. I've just done LED angel eyes which were plug and play but have OEM xenons. Great - tend to have them on as DRLs on motoerway and in anything other than bright sunlight. Can't really be bothered with interiors but each to his own.
3. I'm a black rubber man too.
4. See previous post on pairing. Works for me but have a blackberry.
5. Jason at BW Chiptune  - plenty of comments elsewhere. Well worth it particularly for diesel.
6. In my view, simply not worth it. No easy plug and play solution - to my knowledge.

Good luck

What are the 'firmware' updates I keep hearing about ? (my car is 2004 E53 3.0 Diesel sport)

Smee


[quote="pvr"]
Sorry, but the LEAD bit cracked me up  ) Have this image of part of a church roof being installed.

There are two map releases per year by BMW, October and May. The current one should be 2013-1 and should just have been released. It used to be £99 for the upgrade when you handed your old one in, but I think they stopped that and it is more in the £200 region now for an updated map. For a 2006 car, the firmware should be up to date to the latest version anyway, but a legal copy of the CD is £12.50 from the dealer if not.

Quality post though 
[/quote]