How to sell alloy wheels
Posted: Tue Jun 05, 2012 7:51 pm
Another funny on ebay
http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Crazy-Sick-Ra ... 7431580203
A copy of the text in case the ad disappears .
So here you see a set of alloys for sale, but these aren't normal everyday alloys, these are Crazy Sick Baller alloys, now I know what your thinking but read on and you will be amazed at how you don't already own these Dope Ass Hoops!
You see, normal alloys just spin round and round and get dirty, these however are so much better, once you bolt these baby's up to your whip of choice, endless opportunities are opened up to you. You can do Wheel Spins, Doughnuts, Slides and even Jumps, yes, Wicked Sick Gnarly Jumps, you pull off a jump whilst these are on your car and women (or men if your that way inclined) will literally flock to your crotch, it's like that Lynx advert without looking cheap and tacky, I mean you will be fighting them off and all because you have these alloys. You don't even need to have curly hair and a pair of crocs!
Now these are rare so you won't even see another set. But not only are they rare, they have a racing pedigree, yeah that's right people these wheels were an optional extra on the original, often imitated but never beaten VW Golf Mk1 GTI, yeah they're that cool, not many people can say they have Crazy Sick Baller rims that were designed for, built and used on such an iconic classic car.
Now these are in a wonderful 14x6j flavour, couple this with decent rubber and you will be ripping up the corners at insane (but legal) miles per hours that will leave people wondering if your actually glued to the road. Be warned at 88mph things can get a bit serious, I once drove at this speed for a short period of time at a legal and undisclosed place and I actually went back in time. Now this may sound fun but unless you know exactly how to get back this can be tricky, I can provide a Time Travel: Do's and Don’ts leaflet with the sale for peace of mind.
Now to bolt these to your car you will need bolts, but more importantly you will need 4 of them per wheel, these bolts will need to be tightened up otherwise the wheel will fall off, but this will be a minor inconvenience when you consider it against all the benefits these wheels give you! The PCD of these beautifully crafted alloys is 4x100, now this is good for you because loads of smaller hatchbacks come in this size so if it's small, has four bolts, chances are it could be 4x100, winner! The centre bore of these beauties is 57.1 so you know that once you buy them these wheels will fit straight on to any VW without having to mess around with spigot rings, this will definitely save you money and more importantly weight, who wants to waste time with silly bits of plastic that will weigh your car down anyway?
These wheels also come in a nice and friendly offset of 33 so you can be pretty sure that once you bolt these up that they will fit perfectly central in your arches, this is good because it also means you can lower your car to bring out the full potential of these Crazy Sick Baller rims, see if you lower your car, it will handle better and with these wheels you can be guaranteed that you will be staying on the road longer and driving round like a scalded rat without loosing all your power to pesky wheel spin or body roll.
The wheels do come with tires on them, I can have these removed as they have been used but I've decided to leave them on to a testimony to how good they actually are, as you can see in the photos I have lovingly taken, there is a slight bit of wear to them, this is mainly down to when I went back in time, unfortunately whilst travelling, the Crazy speeds that were needed actually caused flames and have actually worn away the inside to the tire, now I know that sounds stupid but believe me it happened, Bigfoot was my witness, he couldn't believe it either.
Whilst using these wheels they have picked up a few marks, this happened when I was driving around minding my own business when a wild curb appeared, he was very angry at me because I kept avoiding him, and unleashed a scratch attack at me, luckily it wasn't super effective and I managed to run away with only a few minor imperfections, I think he learned his lesson though because he hasn't been back since. As you can see in the images I have provided they are merely minor flesh wounds and battle scars like these should be worn with pride, everyone knows you have fought and beat the deadly curb with such superficial damage that they are in awe of you.
Now because I'm a generous person and I like to help people out wherever I can, I've actually included a Free set! (That’s Zilch, Nada, Nothing) A Free set of genuine BBS valve caps, these are completely made of metal with a beautifully engraved top complete with BBS logo, now these are super light and add to the appeal of these wheels, everyone will instantly recognise that your a true wheel enthusiast and will understand your no compromise attitude towards simply owning the best valve caps money can buy.
I've owned these Crazy Sick Baller alloys for over a year and I now think its time to pass them over to a new owner, but here's the bad news, only one of you can actually own these, unfortunate I know, now to make sure you have the best chance of owning something so Wickedly Bare Sick you will have to bid fast, I anticipate lots of demand for these and have already been contacted by some high profile celebrities itching to get these on there pimped out whips, but because I'd rather see someone that will truly love and cherish them like I have, I'd like to give you beautiful people a chance to take these home with you.
Payment will have to be in cash, preferably on collection, sorry people, I don't accept sweets or beer tokens, there unhealthy and I hate getting told off by my dentist, she has a terrible temper and robs many pennies off me to keep my pearly whites from dropping out.
Now as part of the deal I will actually let you come to my house to pick them up, this is because last time I used royal mail, my Rubber Duckie ended up in Hong Kong with no return ticket to home. This upset me greatly and I think he has resolved himself to selling his body to float on perspective buyer’s bath water just to feed himself.
The wheels can be picked up from DE13 0AD, Burton on Trent; now this is a lovely central location, placed right at the heart of Great Britain. With numerous access routes Burton has become a wonderful town that many see as a blur as they race off to other more important places. For the lucky buyer however you will be able to drive around this quaint little place in search of my house and view Burton’s splendor for yourselves.
I would recommend driving when picking the wheels up due to the space they take up, it would be difficult for anyone to simply carry them, although if walking is preferred I can supply 1 glass of water to help cool you down if you so choose.
http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Crazy-Sick-Ra ... 7431580203
A copy of the text in case the ad disappears .
So here you see a set of alloys for sale, but these aren't normal everyday alloys, these are Crazy Sick Baller alloys, now I know what your thinking but read on and you will be amazed at how you don't already own these Dope Ass Hoops!
You see, normal alloys just spin round and round and get dirty, these however are so much better, once you bolt these baby's up to your whip of choice, endless opportunities are opened up to you. You can do Wheel Spins, Doughnuts, Slides and even Jumps, yes, Wicked Sick Gnarly Jumps, you pull off a jump whilst these are on your car and women (or men if your that way inclined) will literally flock to your crotch, it's like that Lynx advert without looking cheap and tacky, I mean you will be fighting them off and all because you have these alloys. You don't even need to have curly hair and a pair of crocs!
Now these are rare so you won't even see another set. But not only are they rare, they have a racing pedigree, yeah that's right people these wheels were an optional extra on the original, often imitated but never beaten VW Golf Mk1 GTI, yeah they're that cool, not many people can say they have Crazy Sick Baller rims that were designed for, built and used on such an iconic classic car.
Now these are in a wonderful 14x6j flavour, couple this with decent rubber and you will be ripping up the corners at insane (but legal) miles per hours that will leave people wondering if your actually glued to the road. Be warned at 88mph things can get a bit serious, I once drove at this speed for a short period of time at a legal and undisclosed place and I actually went back in time. Now this may sound fun but unless you know exactly how to get back this can be tricky, I can provide a Time Travel: Do's and Don’ts leaflet with the sale for peace of mind.
Now to bolt these to your car you will need bolts, but more importantly you will need 4 of them per wheel, these bolts will need to be tightened up otherwise the wheel will fall off, but this will be a minor inconvenience when you consider it against all the benefits these wheels give you! The PCD of these beautifully crafted alloys is 4x100, now this is good for you because loads of smaller hatchbacks come in this size so if it's small, has four bolts, chances are it could be 4x100, winner! The centre bore of these beauties is 57.1 so you know that once you buy them these wheels will fit straight on to any VW without having to mess around with spigot rings, this will definitely save you money and more importantly weight, who wants to waste time with silly bits of plastic that will weigh your car down anyway?
These wheels also come in a nice and friendly offset of 33 so you can be pretty sure that once you bolt these up that they will fit perfectly central in your arches, this is good because it also means you can lower your car to bring out the full potential of these Crazy Sick Baller rims, see if you lower your car, it will handle better and with these wheels you can be guaranteed that you will be staying on the road longer and driving round like a scalded rat without loosing all your power to pesky wheel spin or body roll.
The wheels do come with tires on them, I can have these removed as they have been used but I've decided to leave them on to a testimony to how good they actually are, as you can see in the photos I have lovingly taken, there is a slight bit of wear to them, this is mainly down to when I went back in time, unfortunately whilst travelling, the Crazy speeds that were needed actually caused flames and have actually worn away the inside to the tire, now I know that sounds stupid but believe me it happened, Bigfoot was my witness, he couldn't believe it either.
Whilst using these wheels they have picked up a few marks, this happened when I was driving around minding my own business when a wild curb appeared, he was very angry at me because I kept avoiding him, and unleashed a scratch attack at me, luckily it wasn't super effective and I managed to run away with only a few minor imperfections, I think he learned his lesson though because he hasn't been back since. As you can see in the images I have provided they are merely minor flesh wounds and battle scars like these should be worn with pride, everyone knows you have fought and beat the deadly curb with such superficial damage that they are in awe of you.
Now because I'm a generous person and I like to help people out wherever I can, I've actually included a Free set! (That’s Zilch, Nada, Nothing) A Free set of genuine BBS valve caps, these are completely made of metal with a beautifully engraved top complete with BBS logo, now these are super light and add to the appeal of these wheels, everyone will instantly recognise that your a true wheel enthusiast and will understand your no compromise attitude towards simply owning the best valve caps money can buy.
I've owned these Crazy Sick Baller alloys for over a year and I now think its time to pass them over to a new owner, but here's the bad news, only one of you can actually own these, unfortunate I know, now to make sure you have the best chance of owning something so Wickedly Bare Sick you will have to bid fast, I anticipate lots of demand for these and have already been contacted by some high profile celebrities itching to get these on there pimped out whips, but because I'd rather see someone that will truly love and cherish them like I have, I'd like to give you beautiful people a chance to take these home with you.
Payment will have to be in cash, preferably on collection, sorry people, I don't accept sweets or beer tokens, there unhealthy and I hate getting told off by my dentist, she has a terrible temper and robs many pennies off me to keep my pearly whites from dropping out.
Now as part of the deal I will actually let you come to my house to pick them up, this is because last time I used royal mail, my Rubber Duckie ended up in Hong Kong with no return ticket to home. This upset me greatly and I think he has resolved himself to selling his body to float on perspective buyer’s bath water just to feed himself.
The wheels can be picked up from DE13 0AD, Burton on Trent; now this is a lovely central location, placed right at the heart of Great Britain. With numerous access routes Burton has become a wonderful town that many see as a blur as they race off to other more important places. For the lucky buyer however you will be able to drive around this quaint little place in search of my house and view Burton’s splendor for yourselves.
I would recommend driving when picking the wheels up due to the space they take up, it would be difficult for anyone to simply carry them, although if walking is preferred I can supply 1 glass of water to help cool you down if you so choose.
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