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HOW DOGS AND MEN ARE ALIKE

- Both take up too much space on the bed.
- Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning.
- Both are threatened by their own kind.
- Both mark their territory.
- Both are bad at asking you questions.
- Both have an inordinate fascination with women's crotches.
- Neither does any dishes.
- Both pass gas shamelessly.
- Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut.
- Both like dominance games.
- Both are suspicious of the postman.
- Neither knows how to talk on the telephone.
- Neither understands what you see in cats

HOW DOGS AND WOMEN ARE ALIKE

- Both look stupid in hats.
- Both can eat 5 pounds of chocolate in one sitting.
- Both tend to have "hip" problems.
- Neither understand football.
- Both look good in a fur coat.
- Both are good at pretending that they're listening to every word you say.
- Neither believe that silence is golden.
- Both constantly want back rubs.
- Neither can balance a cheque book.
- You can never tell what either of them is thinking.
- Both put too much value on kissing.