Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies,
obscured by the occasional miracle, followed by a good beer.
Golf !
You hit down to make the ball go up.
You swing left and the ball goes right.
The lowest score wins.
And on top of that,
the winner buys the drinks!
The term 'Mulligan' is really a contraction of the phrase
'maul-it-again.'
A 'gimme' can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers ...
neither of whom can putt very well.
An interesting thing about golf is that no matter how badly you play, it's
always possible to get worse.
Golf's a hard game to figure. One day you'll go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps and miss every green.
The next day you go out and for no reason at all you really stink.
If your best shots are practice swings and 'gimme putts', you might want to reconsider this game.
Golf is the only sport where the most feared opponent is you.
Golf is like marriage:
If you take yourself too seriously it won't work: and both are pretty damned expensive!
The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil.
Top Ten Reasons
Why Golf Is Better Than Sex!
#10.. A below-par performance
is considered damn good.
#9.. You can stop in the middle and have
a cheeseburger and a couple of beers.
#8.. It's much easier to find the sweet spot.
#7.. Foursomes are encouraged.
#6.. You can still make money doing it as a senior.
#5.. Three times a day is possible.
#4.. Your partner doesn't hire a lawyer if you play with someone else.
#3.. If you live in Florida, you can do it almost every day.
#2.. You don't have to cuddle with your partner when you're finished.
And NUMBER ONE reason
#1.. When your equipment gets old you can replace it!
