Not joined yet? Register for free and enjoy features such as alerts, private messaging and viewing latest posts and topics.

Guinness drinker

Jokes and humour! Keep it clean(ish) folks!
Post Reply
User avatar
amacman
Member
Member
Posts: 249
Joined: Sun Oct 02, 2011 5:19 am
Location: Glasgow .

Guinness drinker

Post by amacman » Thu Jun 18, 2015 5:24 pm

Soz , but it is funny .

Bloke goes into
a pub, and the barmaid asks what he wants.

"I want to bury my face in your cleavage and lick the
sweat from between your ****" he says.

"You dirty *******!" shouts the barmaid, "get
out before I get my husband."

The bloke apologizes and promises not to repeat his gaffe.

The Barmaid accepts this and asks him again what he wants.

"I want to pull your pants down, spread yoghurt between
the cheeks of your **** and lick it all off."

She says, "You dirty filthy pervert! You're banned.
Get out!!"

Again, the bloke apologizes and swears never ever to do it
again.

"One more chance," says the barmaid, "Now -
what do you want?"

"I want to turn you upside down, tear your knickers off
and fill your pussy with Guinness, and then drink every last
    drop from the hairy cup."

The barmaid is furious at this personal intrusion, and runs
upstairs
to fetch her husband, who's sitting quietly watching
the telly.

"What's up love?" he asks.

"There's a bloke in the bar who wants to put his
head between my **** and lick the sweat off", she
says.

"I'll kill him. Where is he?" storms the
Husband.

"Then he said he wanted to pour yoghurt down between my
**** cheeks and lick it off" she screams.

"Right. He's dead!" says the husband, reaching
for a baseball bat.

"Then he said he wanted to turn me upside down, fill my
fanny with Guinness and then drink it all" she cries!

The husband puts down his bat and returns to his armchair,
and switches the telly back on.

"Aren't you going to do something about it?"
she cries hysterically.

"Look love, I'm not messing with any bloke who can
drink 15 pints of Guinness..."

User avatar
X5Sport
Global Moderator
Global Moderator
Posts: 18770
Joined: Fri Sep 03, 2010 4:09 pm
Location: Planet X6......

Re: Guinness drinker

Post by X5Sport » Thu Jun 18, 2015 5:36 pm

:naughty: :nono:
:ant: Never anthropomorphise computers. They hate that.

User avatar
amacman
Member
Member
Posts: 249
Joined: Sun Oct 02, 2011 5:19 am
Location: Glasgow .

Re: Guinness drinker

Post by amacman » Thu Jun 18, 2015 5:39 pm

I know but I did apologise in advance

User avatar
Reusch
Member
Member
Posts: 970
Joined: Mon Nov 19, 2012 7:17 pm
Location: Blackpool
Contact:

Re: Guinness drinker

Post by Reusch » Thu Jun 18, 2015 6:15 pm

Pmsl
JFT96.YNWA

Current
Jaguar XF

Previous
Porsche Cayenne 3.2 (money pit)
BMW X5 3.0D
Mercedes C Class,Mazda RX8,Jaguar S Type 3.0.

User avatar
Mars
Member
Member
Posts: 226
Joined: Sun Mar 22, 2015 3:12 pm
Location: Hell's Kitchen

Re: Guinness drinker

Post by Mars » Thu Jun 18, 2015 6:24 pm

I will never look at Guinness in the same way again, that was gross!
Last edited by Mars on Thu Jun 18, 2015 6:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.
2014 3.0d M Sport (the snail)
Porsche Macan ordered 2017

Mpower
Member
Member
Posts: 431
Joined: Wed May 01, 2013 4:47 pm

Re: Guinness drinker

Post by Mpower » Thu Jun 18, 2015 6:36 pm

[emoji23]

Post Reply