Paddy decides to take up boxing and goes for the required medical. A few days later the doctor ‘phones and says “Paddy, you realise you’ve got sugar diabetes.”
Paddy says, “Nice one, when do I fight him?”
A Muslim bloke I work with was bragging he had the entire Koran on DVD. Being interested, I asked him to burn me a copy. Well, that’s when it all kicked off!
Paddy caught his Wife having an affair and decided to kill her and himself. He puts the gun to his head, looks at his Wife and says "Don't laugh, you're next!!"
An Irishmen wanting to become a Priest went to see the Bishop who said "You must answer 3 questions on the Bible".
"1st - Who was born in a stable?"
"Red Rum" he replied
"2nd - What do you think of Damascus ?"
"It kills 99% of all germs" he replied.
"3rd - What happened when the disciples went to Mount Olive?"
"That’s easy" he said "Popeye kicked the sh!t out of them!!"
Little boy gets home from school and says "Dad, I've got a part in the school play as a man who's been married for 25 years."
His Dad replies "Never mind Son. Maybe next time you'll get a speaking part!!"
Two Irishmen looking through a mail order catalogue.
Paddy says "Look at these gorgeous women! The prices are reasonable too."
Mick agrees "I'm ordering one right now"
3 weeks later Paddy says to Mick "Has your woman turned up yet?"
"No" said Mick "but it shouldn't be long now though. Her clothes arrived yesterday!!
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Something old, something new - ish......
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OnlineX5Sport
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Something old, something new - ish......
Last edited by X5Sport on Wed Apr 24, 2013 5:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Never anthropomorphise computers. They hate that.
Re: Something old, something new - ish......
Mostly 'groan' but the first joke and the DVD one made me laugh!
Re: Something old, something new - ish......
That made I larf..... )
Re: Something old, something new - ish......
3/10
Currently :
2012 Audi RS4 (B8)
2012 Porsche Boxster S (981)
2008 Lotus Exige S (a bit modified!)
2015 Nissan Leaf twin turbo with Nitros
Previously :
2008 BMW X5 3.0sd MSport
2005 BMW 535d MSport
2012 Audi RS4 (B8)
2012 Porsche Boxster S (981)
2008 Lotus Exige S (a bit modified!)
2015 Nissan Leaf twin turbo with Nitros
Previously :
2008 BMW X5 3.0sd MSport
2005 BMW 535d MSport
Re: Something old, something new - ish......
Give it 3.5
X5M F85, Golf Clipper, Abarth 595 Competizioni, Jeep
911 50th anniversary -
Site & Forum Admin Team Member.
911 50th anniversary -
Site & Forum Admin Team Member.
Re: Something old, something new - ish......
[quote="535dboy"]
3/10
[/quote]
That's far to generous you feeling ok ) I thought they were all $hite to be honest
3/10
[/quote]
That's far to generous you feeling ok ) I thought they were all $hite to be honest
Current
09/59 e61 520d MSport Touring Business ED - Platinum Grey / Cream Beige Leather
Previous
06/06 e53 X5 4.4i V8 Sport - Titanium Silver / Black Nappa Leather
09/59 e61 520d MSport Touring Business ED - Platinum Grey / Cream Beige Leather
Previous
06/06 e53 X5 4.4i V8 Sport - Titanium Silver / Black Nappa Leather