As has been said, a lot of your musts can be retro fitted and tbh I'm only the other side of Brum to help you too.
The sunroof, although a nice touch doesn't in all honesty get used that much due to our climate and constant crappy weather.
As for the reasoning to not look at the 4.8is, seriously if the only thin is the steering wheel, trust me you can swap it with plenty who have a pre-facelift that would like to go to the facelift wheel. You can even fit the E46 SMG wheel.
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Anyone selling an E53 4.6iS ?
Re: Anyone selling an E53 4.6iS ?
Mobilejo so glad one came up for you 
I have the non smoking package on my 330i and I still get all the power points, but a plastic cap rather than a cigarette lighter so I still dont see why people would prefer smokers package on their car (unless they smoke of course :'( )
I worry about garages, just a nervous person when it comes to money, so I was hoping for a 'member' to be selling theirs, but am loving all your tips, thank you

I have the non smoking package on my 330i and I still get all the power points, but a plastic cap rather than a cigarette lighter so I still dont see why people would prefer smokers package on their car (unless they smoke of course :'( )
I worry about garages, just a nervous person when it comes to money, so I was hoping for a 'member' to be selling theirs, but am loving all your tips, thank you
E30 320i
E36 325i Coupe
E46 330i SE
Now an E53 4.6iS
E36 325i Coupe
E46 330i SE
Now an E53 4.6iS