Not joined yet? Register for free and enjoy features such as alerts, private messaging and viewing latest posts and topics.

Are you the father of one of my kids

Jokes and humour! Keep it clean(ish) folks!
Post Reply
User avatar
amacman
Member
Member
Posts: 249
Joined: Sun Oct 02, 2011 5:19 am
Location: Glasgow .

Are you the father of one of my kids

Post by amacman » Thu Nov 01, 2012 5:12 am

A bloke goes to Tesco and notices an attractive
woman waving at him. She says: 'Hello!
He's rather taken aback because he can't place
where he knows her from. So he says:
'Do you know me?'
To which she replies:
'I think you're the father of one of my kids.'
Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever
been unfaithful to his wife, and he says:
'Are you the stripper from the bachelor party that I had
sex with on the pool table with all my mates
watching while your partner whipped my bum with wet celery?'
She looks into his eyes and says calmly:
'No, I'm your son's school teacher.'

User avatar
MJim
Member
Member
Posts: 854
Joined: Thu Nov 25, 2010 10:19 pm

Re: Are you the father of one of my kids

Post by MJim » Thu Nov 01, 2012 7:29 am

Great!  :))
Current: 40d M Sport, deep sea blue, oyster, 19in
Spare: VW Golf V5

History: TVR Chimera 5.0
First Car: Peugeot 205 GTI 1.9

Online
User avatar
X5Sport
Global Moderator
Global Moderator
Posts: 18784
Joined: Fri Sep 03, 2010 4:09 pm
Location: Planet X6......

Re: Are you the father of one of my kids

Post by X5Sport » Thu Nov 01, 2012 1:30 pm

Very funny.... :)) :))
:ant: Never anthropomorphise computers. They hate that.

User avatar
shadrack
Snr Member
Snr Member
Posts: 2631
Joined: Wed Aug 24, 2011 9:19 pm
Location: north yorkshire

Re: Are you the father of one of my kids

Post by shadrack » Thu Nov 01, 2012 6:31 pm

love it! ;)
current: 2016 Vw Crafter
              2007 318d touring
              2008 Transit sport van            
              1964 vw beach buggy
              1988 e30 325i convertible

User avatar
jaynana
Snr Member
Snr Member
Posts: 1888
Joined: Mon Nov 14, 2011 11:31 pm
Location: Amersham

Re: Are you the father of one of my kids

Post by jaynana » Thu Nov 01, 2012 11:01 pm

:))
Current: BMW 640i Convertible (320PS)
             Audi A7 Sportback 3.0 T FSI quattro (300 PS) SE STronic  8)
Previous: BMW X5 E53 Facelift 3.0d

Raj
Lifer
Lifer
Posts: 4512
Joined: Tue Sep 21, 2010 11:30 pm
Location: Midlands

Re: Are you the father of one of my kids

Post by Raj » Fri Nov 02, 2012 7:10 am

Quality.
Image

graemeX5
Snr Member
Snr Member
Posts: 1927
Joined: Mon Jan 16, 2012 12:01 pm
Location: Hertfordshire

Re: Are you the father of one of my kids

Post by graemeX5 » Fri Nov 02, 2012 7:26 am

Made me smile and I'll remember to be careful when a woman says that phrase to me  :))
Now: E70 X5 in Blue, 3 Minis Cooper S R53, JCW R56 & Cooper S Roadster R59 :drive:

Prev: Abarth 595C & 500C, E53 X5 4.4i, E88 135i M Sport, Audi TT Mk1 V6, 3 Smarts, 8 Vauxhalls, 4 Fords, 2 Triumphs, 1 Mini & Bikes

Post Reply