Not joined yet? Register for free and enjoy features such as alerts, private messaging and viewing latest posts and topics.

The Genie.......

Jokes and humour! Keep it clean(ish) folks!
Post Reply
User avatar
X5Sport
Global Moderator
Global Moderator
Posts: 18781
Joined: Fri Sep 03, 2010 4:09 pm
Location: Planet X6......

The Genie.......

Post by X5Sport » Wed May 30, 2012 11:04 am

A man takes his wife to play her first ever game of golf. Of course the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course.

The husband cringed "I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologise and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us."

So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A warm voice said, "Come on in."
When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the pieces of window glass.

A man reclining on the couch asked, "Are you the people that broke my window?"

"Uh...yeah! , sir. We're sure sorry about that" the husband replied.

"Oh no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you.. You see, I'm a Genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for my self."

"Wow, that's great!" the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, "I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life."

"No problem," said the Genie "You've got it, it's the least I can do. And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life!"

"And now you, young lady, what do you want?"the Genie asked.

"I'd like to own a gorgeous home in every country in the world complete with servants." she said.

"Consider it done," the Genie said "And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!"

"And now," the couple asked in unison "what's your wish, Genie?"

"Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle, and haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with your wife."

The husband looked at his wife and said, 'Well Darling, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?'

She mulled it over for a few moments and said, "You know, you're right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about you, honey?"

"You know I love you sweetheart" said the husband "I'd do the same for you!"

So the Genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other.

The genie was insatiable. After about three hours of non-stop sex, the Genie rolled over and looked directly into her eyes and asked "How old are you and your husband?"

"We're both thirty-five, why?" she responded breathlessly.

"No Kidding" he said "Thirty-five years old and you both still believe in Genies?"
Last edited by X5Sport on Wed May 30, 2012 2:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.
:ant: Never anthropomorphise computers. They hate that.

User avatar
Rusty
Snr Member
Snr Member
Posts: 1662
Joined: Mon Oct 11, 2010 11:39 pm
Location: Bath

Re: The Genie.......

Post by Rusty » Wed May 30, 2012 1:05 pm

Pmsl, nice one :rofl:

Sent from my GT-I9000 using Tapatalk 2
3.0d Sport Exclusive E53 CB with black comfort, pano, folding dimming mirrors, 20"ers, comms, xenons, focal sub, Intravee II, GSM heater........and so on.
Runabout - E92 3 Series Coupe
Image

User avatar
ITBarbie
Member
Member
Posts: 832
Joined: Tue Aug 03, 2010 1:28 pm
Location: Coulsdon. Surrey

The Genie.......

Post by ITBarbie » Wed May 30, 2012 5:27 pm

Very funny!
2004 Sapphire Black 3.0d SE
MODS
Intravee with KCA, Xennons, Folding Mirrors (enabled with Intravee), Sport Wheels 19's, DVD Headrests, updated SAT NAV, Voice Recognititon with TV in Motion enabled with Resler a

User avatar
wilkoturbo
Member
Member
Posts: 982
Joined: Wed Mar 02, 2011 7:57 pm

The Genie.......

Post by wilkoturbo » Wed May 30, 2012 7:04 pm

Pmsl lol
bmw x5 le mans blue

Post Reply