The story of Lucas

[X5Sport]

Only the older ones on here may remember Lucas - The Prince of Darkness of Car Parts to the Motor Industry.....

Not many people know that Land Rovers attempted to market a computer. Why did they stop? They could not find a way to get it to leak oil!

A Land Rover doesn´t leak oil, it marks it´s territory. Did you hear about the man whose Land Rover didn't leak oil? The factory took it back and worked on it until it did.

Did you hear the one about the guy that peeked into a Land Rover and asked the owner "How can you tell one switch from another at night? They all look the same. " - "He replied, "It does not matter which one you use, nothing happens !"

The Lucas motto: "Get home before dark."

Lucas is the patent holder for the short circuit.

Lucas - Inventor of the first intermittent wiper.

Lucas - Inventor of the self-dimming headlamp.

The three position Lucas switch - Dim, Flicker and Off.

The Original Anti-Theft Device - Lucas Electrics.

Lucas is an acronym for Loose Unsoldered Connections and Splices

Lucas systems actually uses AC current; it just has a random frequency.

"I have had a Lucas pacemaker for years and have never had any trou..."

If Lucas made guns, wars would not start.

A friend of mine told everybody he never had any electric problems with his Lucas equipment. Today he lives in the countryside, in a large manor with lots of friendly servants around him an an occasional ice cold shower...

Back in the 70's, Lucas decided to diversify its product line and began manufacturing vacuum cleaners. It was the only product they offered which did not suck.

Q: Why do the British drink warm beer? A: Because Lucas makes their refrigerators!

Alexander Graham Bell invented the Telephone.Thomas Edison invented the Light Bulb. Joseph Lucas invented the Short Circuit.

Recommended procedure before taking on a repair of Lucas equipment: Check the position of the stars,kill a chicken and walk three times clockwise around your car chanting:" Oh mighty Prince of Darkness protect your unworthy servant.."

[sapphireblack]

Specific to Land Rover according to my old dealer;

I appreciate it's a problem to you, but all Land Rovers let water in and oil out

[ianmaney]

2 things you can apparently see from space, the great wall of china and the door shuts on a land rover !!