XSeries-forum

Not joined yet? Register for free and enjoy features such as alerts, private messaging and viewing latest posts and topics.

Lets even the balance

Jokes and humour! Keep it clean(ish) folks!
Post Reply
User avatar
ITBarbie
Member
Member
Posts: 832
Joined: Tue Aug 03, 2010 1:28 pm
Location: Coulsdon. Surrey

Lets even the balance

Post by ITBarbie » Mon Aug 09, 2010 2:02 pm

Hi Girls

Just thought I would even the balance of testosterone on here ! :titshake:

[size=99px]Q: Why do men become smarter during sex?

A: Because they are plugged into a genius.



Q: Why don't women blink during foreplay?

A: They don't have time.



Q: Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?

A: They won't stop for directions.



Q: Why did God put men on earth?

A: Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.



Q: Why don't women have men's brains?

A: Because they don't have penises to put them in.



Q: What do electric trains and breasts have in common?

A: They're intended for children, but it's the men who usually end up playing with them.



Q: Why do men snore when they lay on their backs?

A: Because their balls fall over their assholes and they vapor lock.



Q: Why do men masturbate?

A: It's sex with someone they love.[/size]
2004 Sapphire Black 3.0d SE
MODS
Intravee with KCA, Xennons, Folding Mirrors (enabled with Intravee), Sport Wheels 19's, DVD Headrests, updated SAT NAV, Voice Recognititon with TV in Motion enabled with Resler a
Top
User avatar
pvr
Lifer
Lifer
Posts: 5266
Joined: Fri Jul 30, 2010 5:13 pm
Location: West Sussex

Re: Lets even the balance

Post by pvr » Mon Aug 09, 2010 2:16 pm

Shocking ...

Impressive copy/paste though - did a man show you? :fuelfire: :poke:
X5M F85,  Golf Clipper, Abarth 595 Competizioni, Jeep

911 50th anniversary -
Site & Forum Admin Team Member.
Top
User avatar
lezmtaylor
Member
Member
Posts: 994
Joined: Sat Jul 31, 2010 11:25 pm
Location: Gloucester

Re: Lets even the balance

Post by lezmtaylor » Mon Aug 09, 2010 8:00 pm

Brilliant, my wife is still smirking at me and we've only been married 4 years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lez
2002. 4.4lpg,ledAE's,Xenons,paddleshift,compass mirror,inst rings,led int lights,rear camera,crystal tailights,eisenmann road exh,Schnitzer pedals,chrome indicators,colour co-ord headlamps & bonnet grilles,hualigim entertainment system.dash and rearcamera,comfort seats.hud,bull bars,engine instalube
Top
User avatar
x555
Snr Member
Snr Member
Posts: 1763
Joined: Sat Jul 31, 2010 12:06 pm
Location: south wales

Re: Lets even the balance

Post by x555 » Mon Aug 09, 2010 9:26 pm

LOL touchee!
54 PLATE E53 3.0d X5 FACELIFT BLACK WITH BLACK
Top
User avatar
ITBarbie
Member
Member
Posts: 832
Joined: Tue Aug 03, 2010 1:28 pm
Location: Coulsdon. Surrey

Re: Lets even the balance

Post by ITBarbie » Wed Aug 11, 2010 12:32 am

[quote=""pvr""]Shocking ...

Impressive copy/paste though - did a man show you? :fuelfire: :poke:[/quote]

You're right a man did teach me but like most of you lot it was over so quickly I never had chance to enjoy it! :P
2004 Sapphire Black 3.0d SE
MODS
Intravee with KCA, Xennons, Folding Mirrors (enabled with Intravee), Sport Wheels 19's, DVD Headrests, updated SAT NAV, Voice Recognititon with TV in Motion enabled with Resler a
Top
User avatar
pvr
Lifer
Lifer
Posts: 5266
Joined: Fri Jul 30, 2010 5:13 pm
Location: West Sussex

Re: Lets even the balance

Post by pvr » Wed Aug 11, 2010 9:19 am

Miiaaaaaaaaaaauw :)
X5M F85,  Golf Clipper, Abarth 595 Competizioni, Jeep

911 50th anniversary -
Site & Forum Admin Team Member.
Top
User avatar
jeegnesh
Member
Member
Posts: 876
Joined: Sat Jul 31, 2010 12:03 pm
Location: Chilterns, Bucks

Re: Lets even the balance

Post by jeegnesh » Wed Aug 11, 2010 10:20 am

Shocking :silence:
Mods: H Steering, Towbar, Wide Arches, Inforad K2, HIDS, Heated Seats, PS2 Media Center, x555 Sub Box (Focal), Rear Fake Tins, RV Cam, Screen Protect, Front Tints, 168 20's, Re-Map, Black Roundels, De-badge, BSW Dash Mids, Tweeter & Xover, Rear Screens, Intravee
Top
User avatar
kena
Member
Member
Posts: 360
Joined: Sat Jul 31, 2010 6:50 pm
Location: Sunderland

Lets even the balance

Post by kena » Sun Aug 29, 2010 9:38 am

Ha ha nice one. Searching around for blonde jokes now ;-)
Top
lizzie
Newbie
Newbie
Posts: 49
Joined: Mon Aug 16, 2010 7:44 am
Location: Bath

Lets even the balance

Post by lizzie » Sun Aug 29, 2010 10:33 pm

Nice to see us women holding our own. Well done Penny. All true though lol
Top
User avatar
ITBarbie
Member
Member
Posts: 832
Joined: Tue Aug 03, 2010 1:28 pm
Location: Coulsdon. Surrey

Lets even the balance

Post by ITBarbie » Mon Aug 30, 2010 3:11 pm

[quote=""lizzie""]Nice to see us women holding our own. Well done Penny. All true though lol[/quote]

Hi Lizzie

Nice to see another woman on here I almost went off to clean and bake cakes at one point :-)

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
2004 Sapphire Black 3.0d SE
MODS
Intravee with KCA, Xennons, Folding Mirrors (enabled with Intravee), Sport Wheels 19's, DVD Headrests, updated SAT NAV, Voice Recognititon with TV in Motion enabled with Resler a
Top
5hep
Member
Member
Posts: 368
Joined: Sat Jul 31, 2010 1:04 pm
Location: Nr Bristol

Re: Lets even the balance

Post by 5hep » Mon Aug 30, 2010 5:37 pm

[quote=""ITBarbie""][quote=""lizzie""]Nice to see us women holding our own. Well done Penny. All true though lol[/quote]

Hi Lizzie

Nice to see another woman on here I almost went off to clean and bake cakes at one point :-)

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk[/quote]

Penny, finished all the housework then :P :P
Faded Carbon Black'ish 3.0d Exclusive / Abarth 500 Esseesse
Top
User avatar
ITBarbie
Member
Member
Posts: 832
Joined: Tue Aug 03, 2010 1:28 pm
Location: Coulsdon. Surrey

Lets even the balance

Post by ITBarbie » Mon Aug 30, 2010 7:03 pm

[quote=""5hep""][quote=""ITBarbie""][quote=""lizzie""]Nice to see us women holding our own. Well done Penny. All true though lol[/quote]

Hi Lizzie

Nice to see another woman on here I almost went off to clean and bake cakes at one point :-)

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk[/quote]

Penny, finished all the housework then :P :P[/quote]

Well smarty pants in fact I have baked two cakes today (cup cakes & Victoria sponge) as well as home made soup. You see that's why I've no time left for mods !!!



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
2004 Sapphire Black 3.0d SE
MODS
Intravee with KCA, Xennons, Folding Mirrors (enabled with Intravee), Sport Wheels 19's, DVD Headrests, updated SAT NAV, Voice Recognititon with TV in Motion enabled with Resler a
Top
User avatar
kena
Member
Member
Posts: 360
Joined: Sat Jul 31, 2010 6:50 pm
Location: Sunderland

Lets even the balance

Post by kena » Mon Aug 30, 2010 7:17 pm

Hey I can cook. Had to learn when spending most of my time away from home in stavanger. Can't bake cakes mind :-(
Top
5hep
Member
Member
Posts: 368
Joined: Sat Jul 31, 2010 1:04 pm
Location: Nr Bristol

Re: Lets even the balance

Post by 5hep » Mon Aug 30, 2010 8:07 pm

I'll PM my address as I so love victoria sponge :hattip:
Faded Carbon Black'ish 3.0d Exclusive / Abarth 500 Esseesse
Top
User avatar
pvr
Lifer
Lifer
Posts: 5266
Joined: Fri Jul 30, 2010 5:13 pm
Location: West Sussex

Re: Lets even the balance

Post by pvr » Mon Aug 30, 2010 8:41 pm

As a mod, I think I should have first try of the cake. For the good of the forum of course. Yep, that was it. 8-)
X5M F85,  Golf Clipper, Abarth 595 Competizioni, Jeep

911 50th anniversary -
Site & Forum Admin Team Member.
Top
Post Reply

Return to “On the light side”