Not joined yet? Register for free and enjoy features such as alerts, private messaging and viewing latest posts and topics.

Facts!

Jokes and humour! Keep it clean(ish) folks!
Post Reply
User avatar
jaynana
Snr Member
Snr Member
Posts: 1888
Joined: Mon Nov 14, 2011 11:31 pm
Location: Amersham

Facts!

Post by jaynana » Thu Apr 07, 2016 7:00 pm

We all love to spend lots of money buying new clothes but we never realise that the best moments in life are enjoyed without clothes....!
________________________________
Having a cold drink on hot day with few friends is nice, but having a hot friend on a cold night after a few drinks - PRICELESS....!

________________________________
Arguing over a girls breast size is like choosing between Kingfisher, Fosters, Carlsberg & Budweiser. Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available....!!
________________________________
Why Can’t Anybody Satisfy A Woman Completely....?
Because Nobody Has A Dick Made Of Gold, Decorated With Diamonds And Ejaculates Cash....!!
________________________________
Why Did Newton Commit Suicide....?
Because He Saw A Complete Naked Girl, And Observed Something Going Up In His Pant, Against His Own Laws Of Gravity....!!
________________________________
Why Are Vegetarian Women Silent During Sex....?
They Are In State Of Shock That A Piece Of Meat Can Give So Much Pleasure.....!!
________________________________
Why are breasts located in the upper half of a woman's body?
A: Because, milk should be kept away from the pussy
________________________________
DEFINITION OF BJ
A blowjob is the only job in the world that can't be included in your
resume despite years of experience and a number of references!
________________________________
BALLS THEORY
If you have two balls between your legs it means u r man.
If you have four, it does not mean that u r superman.
U must've guessed by now that someone's taking your ass
________________________________
EXPLANATION
Bio teacher: Girls, the size of a penis should be 2.5 inches for successful penetration.
Girl: Ma'am, how about 7 inches?
Teacher: I was talking of necessity not luxury.
________________________________
VIAGARA
All medicines have Side effects, only VIAGARA has Front effect.
________________________________
BURNING LOVE
Q: What is the definition of "burning love"?
A: It's when at night you reach out for the Vaseline gel and pick up Vicks by mistake.
Current: BMW 640i Convertible (320PS)
             Audi A7 Sportback 3.0 T FSI quattro (300 PS) SE STronic  8)
Previous: BMW X5 E53 Facelift 3.0d

User avatar
Pinewood
Member
Member
Posts: 414
Joined: Thu Feb 11, 2016 11:09 pm
Location: Londonium

Re: Facts!

Post by Pinewood » Fri Apr 08, 2016 8:53 am

:-)  :-)  :-)
F25 x30d M Sport Lci. Prof Media/Nav, adaptive xenons,ext storage,lights package, 19" Staggered 622M alloys.

User avatar
X5Sport
Global Moderator
Global Moderator
Posts: 18770
Joined: Fri Sep 03, 2010 4:09 pm
Location: Planet X6......

Re: Facts!

Post by X5Sport » Fri Apr 08, 2016 3:58 pm

:)) :)) O:-)
:ant: Never anthropomorphise computers. They hate that.

User avatar
Mars
Member
Member
Posts: 226
Joined: Sun Mar 22, 2015 3:12 pm
Location: Hell's Kitchen

Re: Facts!

Post by Mars » Fri Apr 22, 2016 4:54 pm

:))
Haven't heard these before, thanks for the laughs!
M
2014 3.0d M Sport (the snail)
Porsche Macan ordered 2017

User avatar
chubbs
Member
Member
Posts: 127
Joined: Tue Mar 01, 2016 8:49 am
Location: Herts

Re: Facts!

Post by chubbs » Fri Apr 22, 2016 10:37 pm

These jokes are terrible!!!  :o
Image

User avatar
Dan Alex
Member
Member
Posts: 137
Joined: Mon Sep 17, 2012 6:31 pm
Location: Bucharest
Contact:

Re: Facts!

Post by Dan Alex » Sun Aug 07, 2016 8:12 pm

DEFINITION OF BJ
A blowjob is the only job in the world that can't be included in your
resume despite years of experience and a number of references!

Pure genius ! :))))
"What's in a name? That which we call a rose, By any other name would smell as sweet."

E53 3.0i Sport
Ducati 749 Dark (AKA - the rattle)
Previous: Merc 230 kompressor
                Dacia Sandero :)))

Post Reply