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The Amazing Scotsman.....

Jokes and humour! Keep it clean(ish) folks!
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X5Sport
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The Amazing Scotsman.....

Post by X5Sport » Sat Jul 04, 2015 8:27 pm

A salesman drove into a small town where a circus was in progress. A sign read: "Don't miss Jock The Amazing Scotsman".

The salesman bought a ticket and sat down.

There, on centre stage, was a table with three walnuts on it. Standing next to it was an old Scotsman. Suddenly the old man lifted his kilt, whipped out a huge willy and smashed all three walnuts with three mighty swings! The crowd erupted in applause as the elderly Scot was carried off on the shoulders of the crowd.

Ten years later the salesman visited the same little town and saw a faded poster for the same circus and the same sign: "Don"t miss Jock The Amazing Scotsman". He couldn't believe the old guy was still alive, much less still doing his act!

He bought a ticket. Again, the centre ring was illuminated. This time, however, instead of walnuts, three coconuts were placed on the table. The Scotsman stood before them, then suddenly lifted his kilt and shattered the coconuts with three swings of his amazing member. The crowd went wild!

Flabbergasted, the salesman requested a meeting with him after the show.

"You're incredible!" he told the Scotsman. "But I have to know something. You're older now, why switch from walnuts to coconuts?" "Well laddie" said the Scot "Ma eyes are nae whit they used tae be".
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Mars
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Re: The Amazing Scotsman.....

Post by Mars » Fri Jul 10, 2015 11:38 pm

The Scotsman whos kilt I was permitted to raise wore Family Guy boxers underneath so that preconception was shattered I can tell you!
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Don Coffey
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Re: The Amazing Scotsman.....

Post by Don Coffey » Sat Jul 11, 2015 11:35 am

[quote="Mars"]
The Scotsman whos kilt I was permitted to raise wore Family Guy boxers underneath so that preconception was shattered I can tell you!
[/quote]

Working in Aberdeen, the company hold a Tartan Ball each Christmas. I went suitable dressed and traditional. Anyone living my kilt would have run a mile!

Don
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X5Sport
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Re: The Amazing Scotsman.....

Post by X5Sport » Sat Jul 11, 2015 11:54 am

[quote="Don Coffey"]
Anyone living my kilt would have run a mile!

Don
[/quote]

No one would gave wanted to live in your kilt!! 






......isn't auto correct a pain :))
:ant: Never anthropomorphise computers. They hate that.

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