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Smart student

Jokes and humour! Keep it clean(ish) folks!
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amacman
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Smart student

Post by amacman » Wed Oct 29, 2014 12:37 am

The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry mid term, and an actual answer turned in by a student.

The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.


Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:


1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct..... ....leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

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Re: Smart student

Post by X5Sport » Wed Oct 29, 2014 9:00 am

:))
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Re: Smart student

Post by Raj » Wed Oct 29, 2014 11:58 am

Old one but still good.
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Re: Smart student

Post by pvr » Wed Oct 29, 2014 12:05 pm

[quote="Raj"]
Old one but still good.
[/quote]
X5Sport you mean I take it?  :))
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Re: Smart student

Post by X5Sport » Wed Oct 29, 2014 1:44 pm

Have I managed to upset you somehow...... :P

Or are you suffering from being 50?
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Re: Smart student

Post by pvr » Wed Oct 29, 2014 1:51 pm

Hahahah, no - you are just an easy on-line target  :))  (2 years in prison for me then  :blink:)

And not sure why you think I am 50 as I am not there yet .. :))
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Re: Smart student

Post by Raj » Wed Oct 29, 2014 9:46 pm

[quote="pvr"]
Hahahah, no - you are just an easy on-line target  :))  (2 years in prison for me then  :blink:)

And not sure why you think I am 50 as I am not there yet .. :))
[/quote]

We thought the Porsche was a '50th' birthday pressie to yourself hence the halfords stick on 50 badge
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Re: Smart student

Post by pvr » Wed Oct 29, 2014 9:58 pm

Nah, still a young one. You must have gotten me confused with 535  :))
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Re: Smart student

Post by Raj » Wed Oct 29, 2014 10:13 pm

[quote="pvr"]
Nah, still a young one. You must have gotten me confused with 535  :))
[/quote]

You must be getting old as no one can be 535 years old dude  :P
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Re: Smart student

Post by 535dboy » Thu Oct 30, 2014 5:36 am

I've not even hit 40 yet !
Currently :
2012 Audi RS4 (B8)
2012 Porsche Boxster S (981)
2008 Lotus Exige S (a bit modified!)
2015 Nissan Leaf twin turbo with Nitros

Previously :
2008 BMW X5 3.0sd MSport
2005 BMW 535d MSport

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Re: Smart student

Post by Raj » Thu Oct 30, 2014 6:35 am

[quote="535dboy"]
I've not even hit 40 yet !
[/quote]

Only in actual age. In appearance you look faaaaaar older.
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Re: Smart student

Post by X5Sport » Fri Oct 31, 2014 8:55 am

[quote="535dboy"]
I've not even hit 40 yet !
[/quote]

Forty 'hit' you a long time back..... :))
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